Don't Waste my Precious Time with Hogwash and Gibberish

Fallon Agency Slideshare Link

The above link was shared on Twitter from a to be left un-named source.

Its hogwash. I would fire the person who created this presentation. I will admit I do not know the person. It could be Fallon and this is what they teach their employees. 98 Fucking slides with maybe 7 or 10 of value. WTF? Don't waste my time. I want no gibberish. I want none of the Advertising-Marketing lingo. I want real info that gets right to the point. Is that so hard?

This is what the 98 slides say:

1] Identify the Goal/Problem
2] Here are the various digital technologies available to use.
3] Fallon can help you choose which of these technologies and strategies fit your needs.
4] Lets go do it.

The slides infer that we all want to interact with brands all the time. That is the biggest piece of bullshit ever stated. In fact we don't...except when we have a need. We will interact if we buy something and it sucks. Or we want something they don't have or maybe we substitute and wish we didn't have too. Yes if we are already passionate Brand Ambassadors on our own we will do this online. But remember people become that not from Advertising but from great Product-Brand experiences.

Other than that I want a bribe. I want free stuff. I want your margins zero. Or why are you wasting my precious time? Seriously I will interact with McDonald's when I am hungry and I chose McDonald's. Or maybe I am undecided. Then I will place several choices in play and want bidding. Who will drop their pants the fastest wins. Is Fallon going to help a Brand drop their pants for me to win my business?

But seriously. Most of Digital Advertising so far has been wasted. With some exceptions. SEO is a success. Google Paid Search pretty good since its pay for performance. Shopping comparisons on Google, Bing where I can compare prices for things I already want are great for the consumer and margin destroyers for the sellers. Yes have a Social strategy even if your not in Social since viral attacks can occur and you should respond. And if your not 'listening' to learn your not a market leader in your segment.

But 98 Slides? Just read this blog post! Done.

The Vanity of Advertising

I think the Industry often does clients a disservice by not focusing on Sales. Yet at the same time patting each other on the back for great work that can not be proven has benefited the clients who paid for the work.

Glaring proof is the ridiculous number of Awards events. I know Advertising and Media is highly segmented due to mediums, formats, and technologies. But I have never once seen an award connected to sales. Shouldn't all awards for the most part be connected to either sales or customer retention.

And shouldn't the winners of all awards events be based not on the creative or the quality of work but the sales increase? If I helped a client increase sales 100% and someone else who wins an award can't prove they helped make a dime, doesn't that confuse our clients? Doesn't that do a disservice to our industry as a whole and have people view us as scammers?

In direct sales no awards are won unless you sell. And the ones who sell the most get the awards. And yes...THEY GET PAID MORE! And this whole issue of not wanting to be paid for performance because of the 'risk' and 'investment' is a crock of shit. I say that because businesses hire and train and support direct sales efforts risking much more money than advertising does with the same risks! Agencies should not be guaranteed a profit, but should have all their costs covered that includes the employee rate and everyone's pay. And if you are afraid you won't perform then that is the Agencies fault, not the demanding client. You don't have to take the work. Or if the Brand (see tomorrows post) sets you up to fail that is the Agencies fault too for being a sell out for some money.

Remember 9 out of 10 products fail in the marketplace. Do Brands stop product development because they know 9 will be failures? So for an Agency to demand always a profit is pretty damn vain.

My next post will discuss the Agency Bidding and Review process because its only fair I hold the Brands to account for their shortcomings.

The Coming Mobile Commerce Destruction of Retail Profits

I have been kicking around this scenario for a while. It should strike fear in all retailers (and somewhat for Brands too). It will erode customer service especially in times of economic recession when 'price' trumps all else because profits have to be made so service might be cut. And with the increasing power, abilities, and breadth of mobile smart phones and eventually tablet computers small enough to take around with you this will be the bane of brick and mortar stores.

When we shop online we have the ability to compare prices. Thank you Search Engines! Soon we will be doing this in stores that sell 'Commodities'. Commodities in this case is anything I can buy (same or equal) at multiple locations within a short drive. These could be anything small like a bag of Doritos and a case of Pepsi, to big ticket items like HDTV's or even automobiles!

This blog has discussed in the past the Point of Sale fact of life for consumer products. Anything that has a substitute is in danger of a lower price competitor getting the sale no matter how much is spent on Advertising based on the current price in the store. Often this is out of a Brand's control. I have used the Coke vs Pepsi battle as example number 1. The Supermarket not the Brand puts one on sale with the club card as a loss leader (or break even leader) so you buy what is on sale vs maybe your preference. Kiss all those Ad Dollars Goodbye!

Your Supermarket could care less as long as you buy your Cola from them. But to Coke and Pepsi its a revenue issue. I myself prefer Diet Pepsi but buy what is on sale at point of purchase.

In the future (not too far off) a consumer will be able to show up ready to buy and at the point of sale not only decide based on pricing at that store, but also compare with every other retailer within a few mile radius. I can show up at Best Buy and run the Sony 56" HDTV throw my Smart Phone and show that the store down the street has it for $250 less and I demand they match the price or I walk.
I am in Best Buy, this proves my preference to buy from them, will they let me walk?

Or I can compare a Sony and a Panasonic 56" HDTV and I can contact Sony and say I am buying the Panasonic if you don't match their price via Best Buy somehow.

This isn't a browsing dilemma. This isn't a 'let's sow the seeds so we get the sale in 3 months'. This is a 'the person is ready to buy immediately' and if you miss the sale you must wait for the next purchasing opportunity to make the sale. For Coke and Pepsi they might have to wait a few days to a week or two. For a big ticket item it could be years before the next chance. Just think Sony and Best Buy has a chance to sell a 56" HDTV right now with the next chance in 4 years! What do they do? Especially if the consumer notifies them that they prefer to buy Sony! You give a competitor a chance to not only get this sale, but all the free marketing when friends ask how you like your new TV and you say "I preferred the Sony but the price was better on the Panasonic and you know what, its a great TV. I would recommend it to others."

This could be a huge problem for Retailers and Brands. They are not allowed to collude on prices. If a retailer has to contact a brand every time this issue arises to work something out that adds costs to the picture. And worse all the Ad Spend up in smoke. Sony or Pepsi can spend millions getting a consumer to the point of purchase only to lose the sale because the Retailer or the Brand themselves refuse to match the price.

Do Apps really matter to Brands?

Malibu Rum has 2 million I Phone App Downloads in 6 Months

I am not singling out Malibu Rum. This is specifically typical 'excitement' Branded Apps generate for certain biased parties.

I know I know I always am the cynic. I personally do not see value for Branded Apps unless it is a 'must have must use' App. The reason is it will be hard for Malibu Rum or any Brand to know if the App they worked so hard on is used beyond the first week....or even visible to the smart phone user among the ridiculous amount of Apps an active App down loader will have on their phone. In the case of Malibu Rum, you have a liquor that is very sweet, lower alcohol content than regular rum, and the imbibers will be mostly slanted towards younger people and specifically women. Most adult real men do not drink Malibu Rum, just like they don't drink Wine Coolers LOL. So a bowling game?

There are plenty of ideas for Apps that people will want to use over and over for a Liquor Brand that would get more use and more Brand exposure than bowling. And BTW I love video bowling, it is the Malibu Rum demographic that I found the game choice intriguing.

I don't own a Liquor Brand but my free advice would be an App that has drink recipes and allows people to enter in their own favorites for future reference. Maybe include a calorie counter and allow people to zap drink recipes to their friends and even take pictures of the perfect concoction to share.

Or for Malibu Rum an App that includes lots of topical locales (photos and videos), a way for people to upload their own from such locations when partying in the sun, and even connect to Travel Websites that get Malibu a referral fee for any travel booked during that session.

Bowling?